Not everyone on court is chasing a ranking. Most of us play padel for the laughs, the post-match beer and the small hope that this time the bandeja lands where we aimed. If any of the following sounds familiar, welcome. You are one of us.
1. You blame the racket first
Lost 6-1? Clearly the grip is wrong. The new racket will fix everything, and the old one is now "just not feeling it".
2. You rate yourself higher than the club does
You say level 3.5. The scoreboard says 2.5. The gap has a name, and it is ego.
3. Every point ends with an explanation
"The sun was in my eyes." "The ball was dead." "I was about to hit it." The reasons are endless and none of them are you.
4. You own more padel gear than you play matches
Overgrips in three colours, a racket bag with a spare racket and a ball saver you have never used. It counts as a hobby.
5. The group chat is louder than the court
Booking the court takes twelve messages. The match takes ninety minutes. The debate afterwards takes the whole week.
6. The best part is the beer after
Nobody remembers the score at the bar. Everybody remembers the point where your partner dived and missed the ball completely.
7. You say "it was mine" at least once per match
You called it, your partner took it, and you will bring it up until the next match.
Being an amateur is not a flaw. It is the whole point. We even put a few of these lines on tees, because someone had to.